Analyzing Global Dynamics and Unraveling Key Policy Initiatives
We are just an advanced breed of monkeys on a minor planet of a very average star. But we can understand the Universe. That makes us something very special.
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Spires and Gargoyles — Reunions 2015
A message from the chairman: The morning sun glances through the window, its light refracting off a half-empty handle of Tico’s Rum perched on the sill. You sit up and…
Groundbreaking Study of Gravitational Wave Conversation Confirms Einstein’s Prediction that Science is Confusing
Following LIGO’s confirmation of the existence of gravitational waves, a fundamental prediction of Einstein’s Theory of Relativity, scientists announced Monday that a detailed survey of the resulting conversation has provided…
Two Weeks After Winning His First Oscar, Leonardo DiCaprio Hopes to Finally Lose His Virginity
Los Angeles— Ever since Leonardo DiCaprio won his first Academy Award for his performance in Alejandro González Iñárritu’s The Revenant, rumors have circulated that the well-known actor and philanthropist might…
A Beautiful Mind: A Ted Cruz Story
The year is 1988. A cramped double in 1937 Hall. Half of the room looks like pretty standard college dorm fare: there’s a Jimi Hendrix poster on the wall, a…
Girl Kiss Academy: Strategy Guide
1. (click on door) Enter Girl Kiss Academy, Oh no, Principal Kiko is there! 2. (click) “Sorry I am late, ma’am” 3. (click) “Detention?!” 4. (click) “I only want to…
Making My Dream Come True: A Letter from the Fan Who Married Harry Styles
Dear fans everywhere, Ever since I first heard His glorious voice and saw his luscious locks, I knew that one day I would marry that godlike man, Harry Styles. Now I…
9 Tips to Spice Up Your Sex Life
Use flavored condoms: oral sex becomes that much more enjoyable when she’s tasting babaganoush. Be a giving, attentive lover: don’t split your attention between her and the concubine 50:50, show her how…
Why Can’t I Get With Any Hot Gay Dudes?
Enough is enough! I’m just about fed up with dating in the gay community! I seem to get led on and then shut down by one guy after the next. It’s…
7 Creative Ways to Use Those Babies That Have Been Lying around Your House
Valentine’s Day is fast approaching, and that means it’s almost time for romantic candlelit dinners, candy hearts, and, of course, the time-honored tradition of cleverly hiding babies in the homes…
Why Don’t Any Girls Want to Date a Nice Guy Who Krazy Glued Both of His Hands to His Face?
I just don’t get women. They love to talk about how much they want to meet a nice guy who’ll treat them right, but when it comes to who they…
First Date Tips
Mark your forehead with a large “X” so your date can tell you from your evil twin Offer her your business card several times throughout your meal As soon as…
Recipe: Make Your Own Boyfriend
Can’t find the right guy? Tired of being alone? Take matters into your own hands and whip up a man that’ll never leave you with this easy recipe. Ingredients 1 corpse…
How to Get the “Unattainable Standard of Beauty” Look
Unattainable just became attainable! With the help of this handy tutorial, you can finally get the look so hard to achieve that some have gone as far as to call…
The Kama Sutra of Extremely Average Sex
The “Tripping While Removing Your Pants” The lover removes their leg garments, stumbling slightly in the process. If they fall flat on their face, performing the act of “eating shit”, they…
LIFE HACK: Instead of Spending Money on a Tramp Stamp, Simply Tape a Yu-Gi-Oh Card to Your Lower Back
The tramp stamp is a proud American tradition. For decades, these decorative lower-back patterns have let the world know that those who wear them are ready for a walk on…
Mini Games
Wordle
Guess words from 4 to 11 letters and create your own puzzles.
Letter Boxed
Create words using letters around the square.
Magic Tiles
Match elements and keep your chain going.
Chess Reply
Play Historic chess games.