Politics

Politics

Analyzing Global Dynamics and Unraveling Key Policy Initiatives

We are just an advanced breed of monkeys on a minor planet of a very average star. But we can understand the Universe. That makes us something very special.

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Lasted Politics

A Letter to Julian Assange

Dear Mr. Assange: I'm a 3rd grader from Buffalo, New York and I'm your biggest fan. Your website, Wikileaks, has…

By
Rigo

Breaking News: Majority Of Americans To Be Relocated To ‘Reeducation’ Camps

President Obama announced this morning that, in the wake of the midterm elections, a staggering number of Americans—well over fifty…

By
James Clark

Court Decision Allowing Gay Asians To Serve Openly in the Military Sparks Controversy

Washington DC– Federal Judge Virginia Phillips has granted a worldwide, immediate injunction prohibiting the Department of Defense's ban on openly…

By
Allen Paltrow

North Korea Develops “Taunt Offensive”

Documents detailing a top-secret North Korean military program intended to weaponize common insults were published yesterday by several leading news…

By
Jim Valcourt

Rhode Island Votes to Move Off Coast of New York to Alleviate Confusion

Today, in a move that will merely fulfill the expectations of many, the Rhode Island State Senate voted to adopt…

By
Dennard Dayle

Snooki: The Reincarnation of Winston Churchill?

These wise, portly little figures have more in common than just a strong resemblance to the Cabbage Patch Kids. They…

By
Rigo

Bhutan Acquires Thermonuclear Device; UN Scrambles To Find An Atlas

On Friday, King JigmeKhesarNamgyelWangchuck surprised the UN and the world when he revealed that the Kingdom of Bhutan has successfully…

By
Dennard Dayle

Shyamalan to Direct Obama’s Presidency

In a move which seems calculated to alienate his already-shrinking fan base, President Barack Obama has hired director M. Night Shyamalan…

By
Jim Valcourt