Analyzing Global Dynamics and Unraveling Key Policy Initiatives
We are just an advanced breed of monkeys on a minor planet of a very average star. But we can understand the Universe. That makes us something very special.
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Recent News
Trojans And Their Condoms
After six years of digging, I’m starting to suspect the ancient Trojans never actually used condoms. Maybe it’s funny to these corporation fat cats to throw around connections like “condoms”…
The Surrealist’s Guide to Giving the Perfect Blowjob
A trip and a blowjob. All in one.
Mom & Pop Sex Shop To Close
Amateur sex enthusiasts Agnes and James Rafano, tired of enjoying a simply above-average sex life, decided to go pro and opened their store in 1971. It has remained one of…
Timeline of Forgetting Her Name
1 minute Wait, she just said it a minute ago. It started with an… S? No, that’s Shakira. I’m thinking of Shakira. 10 minutes Uh oh, we’ve been talking too…
A Draft of the Class of 2017 Admissions Letter
Dear Admitted Student, Congratulations! You are coming to Princeton. It has been pre-ordained. Not by the stars (we control those) but by our media stranglehold. You’ll spend a few weeks…
Rejected Candy Hearts
They're just chalk anyway.
A Letter To My 18-Year-Old Self
Dear 18-Year-Old Self, You bubble with independence and are surrounded by a campus of like-minded individuals in a sea of Milwaukee’s Best. College has made you a solemn promise since…
Assorted Poetry
11/14: A Haiku November fourteenth If today is your birthday Your mom got flowers Traffic Lights Suck Violets are red Roses are blue Oh shit I’m colorblind Now what do…
Direct Intercourse With Dick Inman
Dear Dick, My boyfriend is great. We’ve been seeing each other for 2 years now. He’s sweet, thoughtful, and funny, not to mention being fairly “well equipped” downstairs. He takes…
A Letter to the Rando Who Just Friend Requested Me
Dear Stephanie King, Thank you for your friend request! You seem like a very nice girl. But, maybe that’s just my eternal optimism. Some might say you seem rather sketchy,…
Condoms
Sometimes it's hard to tell what they're for.
A Benedict XVI Presidency?
On Monday, His Holiness Benedict XVI announced his resignation from the papacy, shocking the world and igniting speculation that he may be in the running to replace outgoing Princeton University…
Shakespeare Love Quotes, Translated
Quote: "Love sought is good, but given unsought is better." Translation: Spontaneous “I love you” texts really go a long way. Quote: "You have witchcraft in your lips." Translation: Your lipgloss be…
Valentine’s Day Gift Guide
What Your Girlfriend Wants 50 Shades of Black: the more hardcore sequel to 50 Shades of Gray. “Have you running more recently? You look thin.” For you to admit that…
Love Is…
Love is a Battlefield episode, specifically "Scandinavia: The Forgotten Front," that you watched in precept with her. Love is not having to say "you're sorry" because she kept the pencil you…
Mini Games
Wordle
Guess words from 4 to 11 letters and create your own puzzles.
Letter Boxed
Create words using letters around the square.
Magic Tiles
Match elements and keep your chain going.
Chess Reply
Play Historic chess games.