Analyzing Global Dynamics and Unraveling Key Policy Initiatives
We are just an advanced breed of monkeys on a minor planet of a very average star. But we can understand the Universe. That makes us something very special.
Just for You
Recent News
McGraw Center Study Tips THEY DON’T WANT YOU TO KNOW
Go to class Go to the right class Remember that large lectures can’t be missed but nobody will notice if you skip precept Make the kid with the glasses be…
How Can Consent Be Real If Our Sex Isn’t Real?
Ever felt that online debates surrounding rape culture could be ended if that one special person would just chime in? Jaden Smith is here to save the day, taking inspiration…
How to Exaggerate Your Summer (A Primer)
You got a job and networked like you were born for it, but at the end of the day you wonder whether you regret ending your childhood at the tender…
Stopping by McCosh on a Drunken Evening
Whose coat this is I think I know. He must be back in Terrace, though; He did not see me stealing it To wear as I plod through the snow.…
Student Refers to Dorm Where She Ceaselessly Questions Self-Worth as “Home Away From Home”
Late last night Joanna Mendelson ’17 led her younger brother and sister into the very dorm room where she routinely questions her own abilities and self-worth. Setting the tone for…
Dear Member of the Class of 2018
Dear member of the class of 2018, On behalf of this entire institution, we would like to welcome you to Princeton. From your outstanding SAT scores to your incredible essay…
Six Unrealistic Scenarios that End with Me Kissing This Girl in My Hall
1. Conscription for the robot war has begun early. Princeton is torn to shreds.  Dorms are set aflame and the sky has turned a darkness blacker than the depths of Overlord…
The Princeton Bucket List
As you sit in the chapel for Opening Exercises, Princeton feels like it will last forever. But time flies when you’re drunk this frequently, and your time at Princeton will…
A Guide to Princeton Precept Etiquette
As you begin your first semester here at Princeton, you’ll be introduced to a type of class known as the “precept.” You’re probably wondering what exactly a “precept” is. Well,…
Grade Deflation’s End Leaves Students Looking for New Ways to Rationalize Failures
Princeton students initially greeted the news of a potential end to a decade of grade-deflation policies with celebration, but recently the campus has been downcast, thrown into depression by the…
The 20 Worst Band Names
I Wish You Could Be More Like Your Brother It Doesn’t Need Stitches Turkmenistan You’re Not Responsible Enough for a Dog, Bart Bake for 14-16 Minutes or Until Golden Brown…
Total Loser Calls Home Regularly
After just two weeks of college, sources confirm that total pansy Ryan Colter ’18 has already called his family twice to keep in touch and assure them that he is…
A Guide to the Street: Hulfish Street
Hey freshmen! Now that you’re at Princeton, it’s time that you learned the lay of the land. You’re going to be hearing about partying on “the Street” and how important…
Cloud Gazing
— CJS '16
Student Hopes Bridge Year Will Turn Him Into Hookup Machine
Arnold Severus, a moneyed and self-assured male student, has made the decision to apply to Princeton University’s Bridge Year Program, citing hopes that the exotic opportunity will turn him into…
Mini Games
Wordle
Guess words from 4 to 11 letters and create your own puzzles.
Letter Boxed
Create words using letters around the square.
Magic Tiles
Match elements and keep your chain going.
Chess Reply
Play Historic chess games.