Centrist Pilot Torn Between Landing Plane Safely or Crashing, Killing Everyone Onboard
Pilot Johnathan Goodman, who sits dead center on the political alignment chart, is unable to decide whether to…
A Guide to Tackling Imposter Syndrome at Princeton (By a Student Who Did Not Get into Princeton)
So, you made it to Princeton! Chances are you’re looking forward an exciting life under the orange bubble,…
Five New Ways to Get Off This School Year
Maybe the monotony of your college routine has been leaving you unexcited. Maybe you’re sick of your friends…
I No Longer Wish to be a Jewish Summer Camp
It has been a good run, as good as any large tract of land in the northeastern United…
Parents Beware: The Latest Teen Trend is Contracting Polio
It’s no secret that teens fawn over the aesthetic allure of the past, idolizing bygones like Audrey Hepburn’s…
How Long Must I Pay for Not Knowing About the Existence of the Vagina?
Local high school junior Jason Fischer, a self-described “modern-day renaissance man,” told reporters Monday that he was shocked…
The Ultimate Wager: This Girl Bet She Could Transform the Most Popular Guy in School into a Complete Nerd in Time for Comic-Con
A few weeks ago, it seemed like high schooler Alice Reinhold’s worst fears had become reality. Comic-Con was…
The Definitive Guide To Winning Your Class Presidency
If you’re considering running for student body president, pay close attention. We’ve collected some tried and true tips…
Inside Every Lighted Window is a Soul Less Popular than I
Staring out at the innumerable glowing windows of the New York City skyline, I was struck by the…
CPS introduces WeepyWheels Service: “For when your p-sets say ‘yes’ but your brain says ‘address your crippling depression’.”
After faculty expressed concern last semester that extended counseling sessions were leaving students unable to finish their work,…
Is Campus Religion Right For You? Take This Quiz (Based on Pope Innocent III’s Treatise On the Misery of the Human Condition (1198)) to find out!
Do you consider yourself a good person? Yes No Mortal life is full of mortal sin, so that…
Totally Fun Icebreaker Ideas for Frosh
Moving off to college for the first time can be scary --- and what’s even scarier is the…
Kavanaugh’s Compelling Defense: I Was Raised a Man in American Society
WASHINGTON D.C . --- At the historic hearing concerning the sexual assault allegations against Supreme Court nominee Judge…
In Search of President Shapiro
From the Tiger archives (1992 - 1993): On Sunday, September 13th, unsuspecting undergraduates and faculty members filed into…