Do you consider yourself a good person?
- Yes
- No
- Mortal life is full of mortal sin, so that one can scarcely find anyone, least of all myself, who does not return to his own vomit and rot in his own dung.
What do you think is your purpose at Princeton?
- To do well in school and learn as much as I can
- To get a good job after graduation
- I was formed out of earth, conceived in guilt, born to punishment.
What do your weekends look like?
- I go out every night.
- I try to stay productive, but also find some time to relax and unwind.
- A bird is born to fly; man is born to toil. All my days are full of toil and hardship, and at night my mind has no rest.
Where do you see yourself in twenty years?
- Working in the business
- Working in academia
- Becoming fuel for those fires which are forever hot and burn forever bright; food for the worm which forever nibbles and digests; a mass of rottenness which will forever stink and reek.
Results:
Mostly 1 and 2:
Campus religion may not be right for you.
Mostly 3:
Congrats! You will be lifted up high, raised to the very peak of spirituality. But then, at once, your pious cares will grow heavy, your worries will mount up, you will be alone amongst your heathen peers, you will eat less and be unable to sleep. And so nature is corrupted, your spirit weakened, your sleep disturbed, your appetite lost, your mind plagued with all kinds of parasitic malevolence; your strength is diminished, you lose weight and hemorrhage from your body and soul. Exhausting yourself, you scarcely live half a lifetime and end your wretched days with a more wretched death. To find out more, visit the Office of Religious Life at Princeton! https://www.princeton.edu/one-community/religious-life
— KZ ’20