10 Things I Hate About You

1. Your tentacles
2. The way you say “library”
3. How much you like kale
4. The suction cup marks on my lower back
5. How you were embarrassed to introduce me to your parents
6. The fact that your parents want me to convert to Greek Orthodox and become a kraken
7. How you always hit the snooze button
8. How you ink to avoid conflict
9. Your beak
10. Your selfies are hotter than mine

– CJS ’16. Illustrated by AZ ’16.