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FOR SALE
- 460 ft of Dinky track
- A night with John Nash
- President Eisgruber’s throne
- 1,000 Cap passes torn down the middle
- Prototype Quad passes (never used)
- One meningitis (please take!!)
- Nancy Malkiel sock puppet
- A vial of Peter Singer’s tears
- A mirror that can actually reflect an Ivy member’s face
- 9,000 unusable condoms
- Woodrow Wilson’s fifteenth point
- Grade deflator
- Spores, type unspecified
- 3.5 Theta fingers
- The mystic seaport bonds of our fraternity
- A pair of (working) kidneys
- St. A’s sweatshirt
- Bike (with lock attached)
- 18 bike seats
- 431 black North Face jackets
- Body of former Dept. of Psychology test monkey
- Pallet of Charmin Ultra toilet paper
- Tiger Admirers password
- A yam shaped like Anthony Grafton’s head
WANTED
- Institutional history
- Children
- An IvyGate apology
- Cottage spot
- Womeningitis
- Eisgruber voodoo doll
- Happiness, if only for a day
- Aaron Carter’s sweaty tank
- 36,000 lightly used bees
- A survivor of Beekeeping Club initiations
- A TigerTransit rider
- A pillow from Eisgruber’s cuddle colosseum (will pay generously)
- Tower, in exchange for Tower passes
