Tag: valentine’s day 2013
Space Dating
Are you single? More importantly, are you desperate? Finally, do you want to cross the border between planets…
How 2 Get Laid
Listen. Do you hear that? That’s the sound of a thousand lonely women. That’s the sound of failure.…
Led Zeppelin IV: A Sex Diary
Led Zeppelin's iconic fourth record is quite possibly the biggest, meanest, sexiest rock album of all time. So…
Trojans And Their Condoms
After six years of digging, I’m starting to suspect the ancient Trojans never actually used condoms. Maybe it’s…
Mom & Pop Sex Shop To Close
Amateur sex enthusiasts Agnes and James Rafano, tired of enjoying a simply above-average sex life, decided to go…
Timeline of Forgetting Her Name
1 minute Wait, she just said it a minute ago. It started with an… S? No, that’s Shakira.…
A Draft of the Class of 2017 Admissions Letter
Dear Admitted Student, Congratulations! You are coming to Princeton. It has been pre-ordained. Not by the stars (we…
A Letter To My 18-Year-Old Self
Dear 18-Year-Old Self, You bubble with independence and are surrounded by a campus of like-minded individuals in a…
Assorted Poetry
11/14: A Haiku November fourteenth If today is your birthday Your mom got flowers Traffic Lights Suck Violets…
Direct Intercourse With Dick Inman
Dear Dick, My boyfriend is great. We’ve been seeing each other for 2 years now. He’s sweet, thoughtful,…