Advice

A Letter to Eisgruber: Eisgruber’s Response

Yesterday, our Chairman sent this e-mail to President Eisgruber.  Much to our surprise, he soon replied. -------------------------------------------- Dear Timothy, Thank you for these extremely delinquent congratulations.  As you might imagine,…

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Lasted Advice

Recipe: Make Your Own Boyfriend

Can’t find the right guy? Tired of being alone? Take matters into your own hands and whip up a man that’ll…

How to Get the “Unattainable Standard of Beauty” Look

Unattainable just became attainable! With the help of this handy tutorial, you can finally get the look so hard to…

The Kama Sutra of Extremely Average Sex

The “Tripping While Removing Your Pants”  The lover removes their leg garments, stumbling slightly in the process. If they fall…

LIFE HACK: Instead of Spending Money on a Tramp Stamp, Simply Tape a Yu-Gi-Oh Card to Your Lower Back

The tramp stamp is a proud American tradition. For decades, these decorative lower-back patterns have let the world know that…

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Date Ideas That Don’t Involve High-Risk, Unnecessary Medical Procedures

Nothing spells romance like lying half-dead in the nearest hospital and undergoing some unnecessary medical procedure, so here are some fun…

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Incredible! Follow These 5 Tips for a Revolutionary Relationship!

Fellow Countrymen, As General Washington’s troops press on towards Yorktown, King George’s tyranny grows less certain every day. Yet, it…

Vacation Suggestions for Time Travelers On a Budget

  History is filled with many beautiful and desirable destinations. Yet unfortunately, not everyone has the resources for a trip…

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Differences Between UK and American English: A Primer

1. What we in the states call a “stout” or a “lager” will frequently be referred to by people in the…

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