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Freshman Lost During Outdoor Action Returns

In what students are calling a miracle of human endurance, the freshman Greg Shifter has finally returned to campus a full semester after the rest of his Outdoor Action group.…

By
Former Writers Who Wish To Remain Anonymous

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Lasted Archives

Failed New Years’ Resolutions from Figures in Popular Culture

At the beginning of the year, many people around the world resolve to do things they’ll never see fit to…

By
Stephen von Stolzenberg

The Greatest Movies Never Made

Harry & Kumar Go to White Castle After smoking some gillyweed, Harry Potter and Kumar Patel get the munchies for…

By
Matthew Solis

10 Jobs Mall Santas Have the Rest of the Year

Wilford Brimley impersonator Contestant on The Biggest Loser Unemployed, along with 9.3% of the rest of the population Used car…

By
Matthew Solis

Inceptioning Santa

Dream Layer 1: A Cold, Snowy Mountain Only Accessible by Skis (AKA The North Pole) Santa: Woah, I need to…

By
Jim Valcourt

A Christmas Carrel

"Spirit,'' said Malkiel, with an interest she had never felt before, "tell me if Tiny Tim will get into grad…

By
Steven Liss

Arch Sing Accidentally Scheduled in Holland Tunnel

A travesty occurred late Thursday night when a Nassoons performance in New York City was accidently scheduled in the Holland…

By
Joe Barrett

Top Ten Ways to Take Advantage of President Tilghman’s Office Hours

10. Stage a live stage adaptation of “Where the Wild Things Are” on Shirls’s desk. 9. Glitter-glue flowers on any…

By
Nicholas Elan

Cartoon: Wireless Infidelity

-Jason Kaplan '12

By
Jim Valcourt