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Jolie Adopts Princetonian
The past year has seen a lot of activity by the actress, whore, and Special Ambassador for the…
Translating Ahmadinejad
Earlier this month those communists in charge at the esteemed institution of Columbia University (not the real communists…
Support for War on Evil at All-Time Low
In what has been described by critics as a "Quagmire of Biblical Proportions," God's prolonged "War on Evil"…
To Life! and, er… Death!
My grandmother died recently and her funeral was very nice. Except for the iridescent pink coffin. Otherwise it…
Tightrope Walkers Become More Macho
Walking on a tightrope may have looked fun to people who saw it on the cover of The…
J.K. Rowling Outs Even More People
After famously declaring a few weeks ago that Dumbledore was homosexual, JK Rowling has recently outed several more…
Academic Doping Scandal
by the Fifth Quintile Allstar Princeton has long prided itself on its Honor Code and academic integrity, but…
A Modest Proposal
Perhaps my diction may be too pretentious, but I chose it hoping to add a humorous element to…
Public Safety Weekly Crime Blog
Date: Tuesday, November 20, 2007 Incident: Burglary and Theft The Department of Public Safety is alerting community members…
Chairman’s Address – November 2007 Issue
Archibald Filmore Goldstein IV '08, the new food manager at Terrace, was up to no good. A 4.0…
Whitman Secedes!
Today, Whitman College announced its secession from the Federal Union in two separate letters to Congress and Shirley…
Dear Prospective Student,
We, at the Princeton Undergraduate Admissions Office, are delighted to receive your application for Undergraduate Admission. Around this…
The Bottle
Once upon a Thursday dreary, Thinking soberly, and weary, Mulling every single incident the night might have in…
Is Your Avatar Depressed? A Second-McCosh Quiz
1. Is your Avatar depressed? Yes/No If yes, skip questions 2- 15 2. Are your Avatar's dreams pleasant…
Prefab[ulous] Extension Requests
Brought to you by Tiger Magazine* If you're like most people you arrived at Princeton a few weeks…