It’s with sincere regret that I must inform you that we cannot offer you membership into 19 Club, Princeton’s premier all-male, secret tobacco smoking society. I guess you could say it wasn’t your “lucky strike,” “bud.”
I’ve been doing some contract work lately. Anscombe Society stuff. Why? Cause I’m the best in the biz, that’s why. I’ve been preventing hookups since you were wearing diapers, kid. I’m a professional. They call me “The Blocker.”
You may have been on campus for two, three, even four years by this point, but that doesn’t mean you don’t still have questions about this place and the secrets it holds. The Princeton Tiger recently acquired a set of sensitive documents that should put some of these questions to bed for good.
For too long the DAILY PRINCETONIAN has LIED to HARD-WORKING AMERICANS of this University, taking orders directly from the corporate clowns of HARVARD UNIVERSITY and promoting a CRIMSON AGENDA.
ListServs tell us everything we need to know about food we won’t eat, events we won’t attend, and clubs we won’t participate in. Here are a few ListServs you probably know nothing about.
