Lizstomania: 10 Things The Author Can Do Better Drunk

1. Remember the lyrics to ‘Stand by Me’ to the melody of ‘Lean on Me’
2. Yell people’s names, or a name that starts with the same first letter as their name, or a name that bears no similarity to their name
3. Describe inanimate things as bros
4. Play Air Drums
5. Walk in front of vehicles and, when they stop, call them out on it
6. Have conversations with himself in the mirror
7. Argue against your characterization of Squirtle as ‘The gay man’s choice’
8. Mistake the Donut cabinet at the convenience store for a Hey, a free donut machine! at the convenience store
9. Look people in the eye to very seriously note ‘no way man, be smart, there will be no driving going on here tonight’
10. Ask the bouncers what they wanted to be when they grew up

AM ’14

Photo: Ed Kelley ’13