I got a dirty mind/ I got filthy ways/ I’m tryna bathe my ape in your Milky Way
Kanye starts off strong here. He establishes off the bat that, despite Katy Perry’s best attempts to make this into a weird alien love song, Yeezy ain’t having none of that shit. He’s getting down and dirty with it. So, what’s the logical next step? Bathing his ape in Katy Perry’s Milky Way. The details of this are left as an exercise to the reader.
I’m a legend/ I’m irreverent/ I be reverend
Having established himself as dirty, Kanye also immediately sets out this line to set out a further proposition: he’s fucking insane. He’s basically the drunken hobo of the rap world. And thus begins the song’s next theme: Kanye’s use of rhyming words which may or may not be completely unrelated and contradictory.
I be so far up-up-up-up/ We don’t give a fu-uu-uu-ck
In this, Kanye offers an explanation for his lyrics: he’s high as fuck. Or he might be literally in the Milky Way by now. It’s hard to tell.
Welcome to the danger zone/ Step into the fantasy/ You are not invited to the other side of sanity
Again, Kanye continues his previous tactic of using mutually contradictory rhyming words. Seriously, I’m not sure how to interpret this. “Step into the fantasy. You’re not invited. But step in. I’m fucking insane. Beyonce had the best video of all time.”
They calling me an alien/ A big headed astronaut/ Maybe that’s because your boy Yeezy get ass a lot
I think our normal close reading tactics aren’t enough here. While the first two lines make sense, the last line again seems to be somewhat of a non sequitur. I may be wrong, but I believe when someone calls you big headed, they’re not referring to sexual prowess. They’re probably just referring to your gigantic-ass head. So, I’d like to take a postmodernist perspective, and assume that ass a lot was the only rhyme your boy Yeezy could think of. Personally, I would have gone with cast-a-flop and thrown in a subtle Jack and Jill reference, but I guess that’s why I’m not Yeezy.
I know a bar out in Mars/ Where they driving spaceships instead of cars
Again, Kanye starts off this verse well, also. He finally establishes that he understands the basic premise of the song (well, besides his attempt to bathe an ape in KP’s Milky Way), and even makes sense, to some extent. It’s not brilliant, but goddamn, it’s the best we’ve gotten so far. Let’s see what he has next.
Cop a Prada spacesuit about the stars
Good, good. He’s still remaining within the space aesthetic, and we accept his necessity to be fashionable. This is still looking pretty good.
Getting stupid ass straight out the jar
Wait, what the fuck? What does this mean?
Pockets on Shrek, rockets on deck
What the fuck is this? Why is he talking about Shrek’s pockets? What are these rockets on deck? Rockets don’t fucking go on the deck of a shuttle, they go on the fucking bottom! So they can propel the goddamn shuttle!
Tell me what’s next, alien sex?
And we’re back to crazy Kanye. This time apparently fantasizing about not even sex with Katy Perry, but apparently just watching aliens bone. Cause the world doesn’t have enough weird porn. We need some hot alien-on-alien tentacle action.
I’ma disrobe you/ Then I’ma probe you/ See I abducted you/ So, I tell you what to do/ I tell ya what to do, what to do, what to do
Well, this got creepy fast. And with these loving lines, Kanye signs off: “My work is done here,” he says, reclining on his polar bear couch as naked models feed him strawberries, “Tell my agent that we’ve—scratch that, I’ve—just made the greatest lyrics ever written. Again.”
-TK ’15