Opinion
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Straight Men Won’t Marry Their Girlfriends: Girlfriends Respond

Dirty-looking white guy standing over a grill? We’re talking to you. Your mix of flannel and apron is neither aesthetically pleasing nor oozing sex appeal. And let’s face it, you’re probably going to burn the shit out of those steaks and end up ordering Domino’s anyway.

Tigermag Literary Review: File M for Murder

I will start off by admitting that I have not read this book. I bought it on a whim during my cat phase. I got a lot of cat books that way. What…

What Is Best In Life?

 Bill Murray riding Bruce Willis down a sand dune on Mars bro carrying a handful of police badges drenched in Ovaltine in his right hand and in his left carrying the American flag…

You’re Doing Facebook Wrong

Sometimes, when I like a Facebook photo fifteen seconds after it’s been posted, I’ll get a comment like, “Of course it doesn’t take you more than 30 seconds to see that I changed…

Come to a CULT Meeting

Feeling depressed? Looking for new meaning in life? Easily manipulated? Want to give us all your possessions learn about asceticism and perform slave labor for us join an awesome commune? You should totally…

Law Enforcement Turf Wars

Dear Large Law Enforcement Agency, As an employee of Small Law Enforcement Agency I am very upset by the arrival of your Large Law Enforcement Agency to my area on account of your…

Another Movie-to-book Release? Really?

So I just saw the latest Harry Potter movie, and loved it. But as soon as I left the theater and entered the nearest Wal-Mart to buy myself a Schwinn Meridian Adult Tricycle,…

Frederick Douglass: Civil Rights Pioneer or Dangerous Pedophile?

When you learned about Frederick Douglass in your middle school history class, did you think there was something a little off about him? Well, you’re not alone. Consider the following: DNA evidence is…

Why Meatballs Kept Me From Achieving My Dreams: Sympathizing with Christine O’Donnell

While much has been made of the Delaware senate race that Christine O’Donnell just ran in, much has been made of her basic inability to skillfully hex anybody — despite her best efforts…

Five Scenarios Where I Might Admit to Enjoying Taylor Swift’s New Album, “Speak Now”

Whilst Out on the Town – I am out at the club when I am approached by a cute girl.  We hit it off immediately based on our mutual enjoyment of horticulture, tort…

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