Tag: president
Yet Another Donald Trump Quiz!
Youâve seen them all. âQuiz: Did Donald Trump say this Outrageous quote or no?â (Washington Post) âTrump or…
Presidential Initiation Investigated for Hazing
Being the President of Princeton University has its responsibilities. Controlling the direction of the nationâs most prestigious research…
Furious Tilghman Unleashes Full Brunt of Weather Machine
Princeton University President Shirley Tilghman, angered for unexplained reasons, has been using her personal weather machine to wreak…
A Benedict XVI Presidency?
On Monday, His Holiness Benedict XVI announced his resignation from the papacy, shocking the world and igniting speculation…
Gary Johnson Carries New Jersey As Democrats, Republicans Stay Home
Election watchers of all political stripes were stunned Tuesday night as long-shot Libertarian candidate Gary Johnson decisively carried…
Things Least Likely to be Said During the Presidential Debates
A lot of major points will be raised tonight. Here are exactly none of them.
Romney Chooses Barack Obama as Running Mate in Appeal to Independents, African-Americans
In a shocking turn of events, a source with intimate knowledge of the decision tells The Princeton Tiger…
Newt Gingrich Increases List of Things He Promises To Fix That The President Has No Control Over
Pundits and voters were abuzz last week over GOP presidential hopeful Newt Gingrich's new economic plan, in which…
Ralph Nader â55 to Run for Freshman Class President
BREAKING NEWS: Perennial candidate Ralph Nader has reportedly just filed paperwork to run for freshman class president. âNormally…
Shyamalan to Direct Obamaâs Presidency
In a move which seems calculated to alienate his already-shrinking fan base, President Barack Obama has hired director M.…
Panic, as Joe Biden Finds Chocolate in White House Kitchen
An alarm was raised in the White House yesterday when it was discovered that Vice President Joe Biden…
Doctor Faust, by Lawrence Summers
(Scene: Drew Gilpin Faust, a female, is reflecting in her study.) Faust: Damn it all! I have learned…