Valentine’s Day 2013
PRESS RELEASE: Hardee’s Introduces New Fuckburger
THE SOUTH — In keeping with the Hardee’s tradition of providing all-American, grass-fed meat to all-American, grass-fed men (but not vegetarians, because what are we, fucking Jamba Juice? Queer.), Hardee’s…
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Just for You
Lasted Valentine's Day 2013
Space Dating
Are you single? More importantly, are you desperate? Finally, do you want to cross the border between planets and species…
Led Zeppelin IV: A Sex Diary
Led Zeppelin's iconic fourth record is quite possibly the biggest, meanest, sexiest rock album of all time. So I fucked…
Trojans And Their Condoms
After six years of digging, I’m starting to suspect the ancient Trojans never actually used condoms. Maybe it’s funny to…
Mom & Pop Sex Shop To Close
Amateur sex enthusiasts Agnes and James Rafano, tired of enjoying a simply above-average sex life, decided to go pro and…
Timeline of Forgetting Her Name
1 minute Wait, she just said it a minute ago. It started with an… S? No, that’s Shakira. I’m thinking…
A Draft of the Class of 2017 Admissions Letter
Dear Admitted Student, Congratulations! You are coming to Princeton. It has been pre-ordained. Not by the stars (we control those)…
