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Princeton Approves Orgy on Cannon Green
Less than a week after Harvard officially recognized Harvard College Munch, a student group devoted to kinky sex, the Ivy League’s kinky sex arms race escalated. Yesterday, Princeton University issued…
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Student Hopes Bridge Year Will Turn Him Into Hookup Machine
Arnold Severus, a moneyed and self-assured male student, has made the decision to apply to Princeton University’s Bridge Year Program,…
Clumsy, Bumbling Green Beret Squad Stabilizes Middle East
After a wholly improbable sequence of events, the uncoordinated, ham-fisted Green Berets of ODA 5327 somehow managed to bring stability…
Suburban Teenager Lives Sustainably by Purchasing Reuseable Coffee Mug
After reading an article on the detrimental effects of pollution on South American rainforests, Stacy Clark, 19, was inspired to…
T.I. Petitions U.S. Government for Direct Connection to Keystone Pipeline
In a meeting last week with members of the House Subcommittee on Pipe and Line Related Matters, Tiger Inn officers…
Heated Marijuana Debate Continues
Heated debate regarding the legalization of marijuana has reached a boiling point across the Internet, with thousands of users all…
Student Compares Freshman Math Exam to Act of Profound Human Slaughter
Barry Saunders, a prospective Woody Woo concentrator, who has been taking the introductory mathematics class P/D/F since the first week,…
Quad Invents Eighth Day, Hundreds Disappear
Charter had Fridays. Cottage had Sundays. And even Tower had something. But one club stood among the rest without a…
The Heir of Whitman Returns
Shortly after the most recent case of meningitis was reported on campus, University Spokesperson Martin Mbugua confirmed that the mysterious…