#SocialMediaInternManifesto
Before us in the halls of history are those we are told are heroes: Hemingway, Churchill, Bonaparte. We…
Several Tigertones Hospitalized After Drive-by Serenade
In what many students are already calling this year’s most shocking incident of organized rhyme, three members of…
5 Ways to Spice Up Your Academic Life
Already tired of studying for your classes? Looking for that extra OOMPH in the library? We here at…
An Open Letter to the Princeton A Cappella Community
I auditioned for every single a cappella group that Princeton has to offer: The Tigertones, The Roaring Twenties,…
President Issues Executive Order to Intervene in Syrian Studies Department
After more than two years of hesitation and inaction regarding the crisis in the Syrian Studies department, President…
President Eisgruber Steps Down, Cites Three-Year Affair with David Petraeus
In a move that has shaken the Princeton community to its very core, President Christopher L. Eisgruber resigned…
If Other Authors Had Been Disillusioned by Princeton
It’s well known that F. Scott Fitzgerald was disillusioned by what he saw as the decadence of Princeton…
How to Be Funny
College is one of the few opportunities you’ll ever get to totally reinvent yourself. No one on campus…
A Letter to Eisgruber: Eisgruber’s Response
Yesterday, our Chairman sent this e-mail to President Eisgruber. Much to our surprise, he soon replied. -------------------------------------------- Dear…
A Letter to Eisgruber
On Monday, July 1st, 2013, Christopher L. Eisgruber became the 20th President of Princeton University. The following is…
Trojans And Their Condoms
After six years of digging, I’m starting to suspect the ancient Trojans never actually used condoms. Maybe it’s…
Mom & Pop Sex Shop To Close
Amateur sex enthusiasts Agnes and James Rafano, tired of enjoying a simply above-average sex life, decided to go…