Dean Jueds Has an Amazing Signature
Dear Dean Jueds, I recently had the pleasure of receiving a letter from you with regards to my…
Fucking WhitmanWire
WhitmanWire has brought to my attention the fact that there are a lot of arts and crafts going…
Annual Heart Transplant Competition
The Princeton Tiger is now accepting applications for its annual heart transplant competition! We invite children ages 4-12…
21 Questions with Mahmoud Ahmadinejad
Name: Mahmoud Ahmadinejad Occupation: Goat-fucker Hometown: Aradan, Iran In one sentence, what do you actually do all day?…
Law Enforcement Turf Wars
Dear Large Law Enforcement Agency, As an employee of Small Law Enforcement Agency I am very upset by…
Frederick Douglass: Civil Rights Pioneer or Dangerous Pedophile?
When you learned about Frederick Douglass in your middle school history class, did you think there was something…
Dildo Sale
I can’t wait for the next dildo sale! Normally, I buy about 3-4 new dildos per trip to…
Stephen Hawking’s 10 Least Favorite Things
Star Trek: Deep Space 9 Anything coin-operated. Pulp. Racism. The Kardashians. Movies about sports. (In particular, 1988 baseball…
Library Bag-checker Foils Heist Years in the Making
PRINCETON, NJ - At approximately 3:30pm last Wednesday, Princeton University junior Darren Matthews exited Firestone Library with a…
New Reality Show Asks: Whatever Happened to Brandy?
ABC announced today that it will be airing a new reality television show in March, entitled "Whatever Happened…
P Diddy to Join Fox News on New “Hannity and Combs”
NEW YORK, NY - Fox News announced this morning that the latest addition to its primetime lineup will…
EthiopiaFML Shuts Down Citing Extremely Depressing Posts
In January of 2008, people all over the world discovered a new way to vent their life's frustrations…
Facebook Considers Purchase of Second Webserver
PALO ALTO, CA - The popular online social networking/anonymous stalking utility known as Facebook has enjoyed explosive growth…
Chairman’s Address – February 2007 Issue
All this business about grade deflation begs the real question: when are we going to stop kidding ourselves…