George Washington’s Rules for Most Satisfactory Love-Making
George Washington, the famously fastidious founding paternal figure, wrote down rules for etiquette still held sacred by many Americans.…
The 5 People Everyone Had Sex With Freshman Year
Forget algebra! College = sex is the only equation we ever learned. These are the four years you…
A Valentine’s Day Sex Overload
SEX OVERLOADS. Everybody knows them. Everybody fears them. You’ll be heading to Late Meal or whatever, you know, just out and about and…
World-Famous Rock Star Chad Kroeger Falls in Love With Amanda, Age 15, by Amanda, Age 15
It was a bright and not-stormy day, and Chad Kroeger sat by himself in the corner booth of…
How to Lose a Lover in 10 Words
We know you, Princeton student. You hate commitment! You complain about semesters that are only 12 weeks long and…
Alternative Dating Apps
Not having any luck on Tinder, Grindr, or OKCupid? Sick of meeting people over Craigslist and repeatedly getting kidnapped?…
Find Your True Love
How to find your true love Find a romantic location, maybe a coffee shop, a bookstore, or a…
Relationship Advice from Steve the Zookeeper
Dear Steve, I’ve been on a couple dates with this girl and I feel like she might want to…
10 Things I Hate About You
Your tentacles The way you say “library” How much you like kale The suction cup marks on my lower…
Songs for Seduction
Ladies, are you tired of being alone? Men, are you tired of looking in the mirror and seeing…
Timeline of a Bro’s Date
4:30 pm Decided to take my girl to Olive Garden after I thought about last time I went there with…
Things To Do With Your Awkward Arm While Being The Big Spoon
» Snapchat your friends so everyone knows you’re capable of making genuine human connection #cuddling » Finally adjust your…
Looking for Love
Single and looking to mingle, but have no idea where to start? Sick of trying to meaningfully converse with drunk people…
The Lost Manuscripts of Chet Slaterton, 19th Century British Fraternity Brother
Our Mutual Friend ‘Twas the fourteenth of July, a beautiful day with the sky blue as a robin’s egg…