Letter from the Editor-in-Chief: Reflections on Four Years of Failure
I HAVE FAILED THIS INSTITUTION. I have spent four years as part of The Princeton Tiger, the campus’…
Porphyria’s Hookup
The rain set early in to-night, The sullen wind was soon awake, It tore past Elm Drive pre-game…
Reading as Writing: A Nass Article About Reading a Nass Article
When I was little, I wasn’t the kid throwing the football, playing with a dollhouse, or throwing a…
Blood and the Badge: An Agent Powers Story
Written by Public Safety Officer Brian Powers Agent Powers crept down the filthy hallway of the decrepit…
Testing Tips for Finals Period from the Honor Code Committee
It’s that time of the year again. Final exams are upon us and with finals come Honor Code…
We Need to Have a Pluralistic, Open-Minded Debate About Your Sex Life
By Anne Scombe ’16 America is changing, and so are our moral values and sexual ethics. I appreciate…
Robert George Has Fucking Crazy Newman’s Day
Shortly after waking up in a garbage can behind Frist Food Gallery on Saturday night, Robert P. George,…
University Affirms It’s In Favor of the Rest of the Constitution, Too
After issuing a vague statement passionately insisting that they support the First Amendment, which, presumably, they already did, Princeton’s…
USG Cancels Big Sean At Lawnparties, Uses Money To Buy Corvette
Decision Blamed on "Ungrateful" Students Disappointed at what they termed a "thankless student body" after their Lawnparties announcement,…
Admissions Officers Admit to Spying After Prospective Students Find University Cameras in their Homes
On Tuesday, March 31, Princeton University released its admissions decisions to regular-decision applicants around the world. However,…
The Mysterious Life of the Sexually Frustrated: A Documentary
In this orange bubble, there lives a breed that can sit in the library for hours on end,…
“There Is No God”: One Man’s Quest to Win an Amazon Gift Card by Taking Psych Thesis Surveys
Four years. Four years, I have tried. Four years—four years! four years! I have tried. Four years, I…
As Measles Panic Spreads, Witch Hunt Begins
In the wake of the measles outbreak that has plunged Princeton Bay Colony into utter chaos, causing livestock…
Alternatives to the Eating Clubs
Have eating clubs got you down? Are you sick of relying on a broken, arcane system that forces…
EXCLUSIVE: The First Interview with Brian Williams Since His Suspension
Yesterday morning, Brian Williams came down to The Princeton Tiger's headquarters at 48 University Place for an interview…