Princeton University, home to thousands of brilliant minds from diverse intellectual backgrounds, is encouraging its students and faculty to work across departments to gain insight into risky drinking behavior. Scholars of all disciplines are encouraged to attend symposiums held every Friday, Saturday, Tuesday, and Thursday night. Some of their research methodologies are published below:
Mathematics: Fibonacci Beer Pong (re-racks at prime numbers)
Computer Science: 8-bit Flip Cup
Mechanical Engineering: Robo
Architecture: Elaborately stacked cups, just nice to look at
Civil Engineering: Cups less likely to fall over
There is disagreement, though, over exactly how much booze researchers should be using in their studies…
Art: Drink until everything is beautiful.
African American Studies: Drink until you can’t discriminate between colors (or shapes.)
Astrophysics: Drink until you see stars.
Comparative Literature: Drink from many different cups.
Economics: Drink until marginal cost exceeds marginal benefit.
Evolutionary Biology: Drink until only the fittest are left standing.
Finance: Drink until liquid assets are exhausted.
English: Drink until you’re inspired.
History: Drink until you can’t remember what happened.
Music: Drink until the DJ seems good.
Politics: Drink if it is the will of the people.
Philosophy: Drink until it all makes sense.
Sociology: Drink until you’re a part of the community
Woodrow Wilson School: Finish your beer because there are sober children in Africa.
Women’s Studies: Drink until barriers between genders disappear
— SL
