Hey girls! Are you SICK and tired of boys at school acting stupid? Does your romantic life stink? It’s time you found yourself a REAL red carpet-worthy man! Take this personality quiz to find your star-studded soulmate!
1) You don’t have a date to prom!!! WHAT!!! What do you do?
- a) Calm down. There’s still time. It’ll all work out.
- b) Tell Dicky that Sarah told you that he’s a douche. It’s mean but he’ll definitely choose you next!
- c) Invite Billy! He’s beautiful and sweet like warm molasses.
- d) Go with your girlfriends, it’ll be a better night than worrying about boys!
2) You have a free night. How do you spend it?
- a) Invite Brad to your house while the fam is out (devil emoji)
- b) Treat yourself! Grab some bath bombs and face masks. Tonight’s all about you!
- c) Invite the girls over, snuggle up and watch 2005 indie comedy The Squid and the Whale, starring Billy Baldwin.
- d) Spend some time with your parents! They miss your company!
3) Two of your best friends have a big argument, how do you fix the situation?
- a) Take Becky’s side. She might be a b*tch but she has SERIOUS social capital.
- b) Step away from the drama. It’ll only drag you down.
- c) Call up Billy Baldwin and ask for his advice.
- d) Get everyone together to sit down and discuss the problem. Talking is the best remedy!
4) You’re out shopping for clothes. What do you splash your cash on?
- a) Save it for a big night out with friends!
- b) A nice, cute black dress
- c) Billy Baldwin
- d) Shoes!!!
If you answered:
MOSTLY A: Alec Baldwin!
You’re cool under pressure but you know just when to go a little wild! You’re perfect for Alec
Baldwin, a suave customer who can show you a good time. You would be so happy together, although his younger, hotter brother Billy Baldwin would probably treat you nice, too.
MOSTLY B: Daniel Baldwin!
You know that you and you only come first! Therefore, there’s really only one celebrity who can truly match your vision for life. Daniel is similarly free-spirited and, as a result of his recurrent criminal convictions, will give you the space you need to just be you! Don’t think too much about how you could’ve had Billy.
MOSTLY C: Billy Baldwin!
This guy is Billy Baldwin and he’s all yours!
MOSTLY D: Stephen Baldwin!
Wholesome family man Stephen Baldwin is the Hollywood hunk who’s ready and waiting for you to fill his arms! Of all the men out there, other than the chiseled Roman god that is Billy Baldwin, he’s the guy who can show you the path to relative stardom!
So there you have it, four eligible bachelors, although one is more eligible than the others, who could be your Hollywood hubby! Forget the little boys at school, time to get a real man who can make you happy!
-BC ’20
