Some of the so-called “Easy-A” courses at Princeton are simply too hard. We here at Tiger Mag recognize this serious problem and are here to help. Below you will find some prospective courses we’ve designed to lend a paw to you, the reader, so you can finish up any pesky distribution requirements.
COS 001: The Wonders of the Abacus! (or, Megabytes for Luddites)
Come explore the mysteries of one of history’s greatest inventions! Count sums unimaginable before by using the complex mechanisms of wooden strips and loops. Observe the sliding patterns of an abacus thrown across the room. Marvel at the many splinters you can accrue. And what happens when you add a second abacus to the equation? Only a lucky few will know!
PHY Wa’-Pagh-Jav: Study of the Dragon’s Lair Through the Lens of a Level 18 Paladin (or, Torques for Dorks)
If you can read this course’s number, that means you speak Klingon and are more than welcome to enroll! This is for the student that knows a lot of useless information like a nerd, but doesn’t really have the same, useful math or science skills. Not to worry! In this exciting new offering, we will live action role-play some really challenging scenarios while figuring out the airspeed velocity of six-sided die when tossed really fast. Like super fast. Every student must bring their own six-sided die as well as a character at least as cool as a Level 18 Paladin with legend-level Platinum Pantaloons. Like seriously, I dare you to.
MAT ∞: What Are Numbers? (or, Maximizers for Theorizers)
Numbers! What are they? More importantly: who are they? Are they your mother? Are they your mother-in-law? Are they your mother-in-law’s pet hermit crab named Scampers who died way too young and are now trying to find their way back to the real world through the endless power of numbers? All of these are very real semi-probable possibilities. In this no-holds-barred exploration of numbers, we will finally guess what they are. If you like solid answers, stay away. But if you are a fan of finding out just exactly where numbers maybe came from? Sign up right away, possibly!
ENG ½: Exploring the Victorian Novel as a Function of Time (or, Dickens for Mathematicians)
In this course, we will be analyzing the use of time in the Victorian novel. Can it be calculated? Can it be made into a function? Does it have a third derivative? If so, where is it equal to or less than zero? These are only some of the questions we will look to answer this semester as we dive into the rich, graphing-ruled tapestry (seriously, bring graphing paper) that is Victorian England. TI 84+ calculator required.
BRO 69: Introduction to Bro-Speak (or, Nouns for Clowns, bro)
Part of Princeton’s effort to support all burgeoning dialects and cultures, the brand new Brorean Department will study the exploding phenomenon of Bro-speak and related dialects! If you have a hankering to be a mildly successful student in the sheets and some guy wearing a pharaoh getup and/or toga on the Street, then this class is perfect for your language requirement. We will begin with the basic pronouns – breh, bro, broseph, brodinski, broo, brah – before moving on to their more complex brethren – Broseph Gorden-Levitt, Al Brocino, broshamalamadingdong. By the end of this comprehensive course, you will be able to say, “Check yo’ bro-self wit’ dem hella-fly oink, yo” to Gram Gram at Christmas Dinner!
COM 3.14: An Analysis of the Textbook: Is It Literature? (or, Words for Nerds)
Literally just reading the Calculus 9th Edition Textbook by Dale Varberg from cover to cover. It’s not literature.
–PS ’19
