Hey freshmen! Now that you’re at Princeton, it’s time that you learned the lay of the land. You’re going to be hearing about partying on “the Street” and how important it is to the social scene on campus. But, trust me, you’re going to get real bored of Prospect real quickly. The real action takes place on Hulfish Street. That is the real Street. I’m kind of an expert on Hulf so let me tell you how to take advantage of Princeton’s nightlife.
1. Halo Pub
I’ve come here every night for the past month. It’s always happening at Halo Pub, or just The Pub, as it is known. It’s a great place to hang out, where you can chat with people and attempt to make new friends as well as burying your feelings in ice cream.
2. Zoë
By day, this is the place where my girlfriend got that gorgeous sundress last spring. By night, this is Zo-E, the Street’s premier setting for doing ecstasy. It gets busy on Thursday nights, and I enjoy the feeling of the warm bodies surrounding me as my mind wanders back to that beautiful day last April.
3. Jason’s Tin Can Grill & Lighter Fluid Tacos
No trip to the Street is complete without a stop at Jason’s world-famous taco joint, located on the fourth level of the Hulfish Street Parking Garage in one of the compact-cars-only parking spots. Jason makes a mean taco and is also a great wingman – he even let me use his place, which is located two floors down in spots 2D and 2E, as a hookup spot once. I actually met my girlfriend here. Greatest day of my life.
4. Mediterra
Best risotto on the Street. It strikes that perfect balance between being too gooey and being too dry and rice-like, which is really hard to find these days. This risotto really is the quintessential Princeton experience. All of your friends from back home will want you to take them here. I would come here with my girlfriend all of the time. Sharon used to always order salmon but then she would be eating my risotto, and I would get mad at her, but I guess it was kind of cute and I should have been more understanding.
5. Kitchen Kapers
KK is trying to take back Friday nights from recent upstart Bluemercury. Personally, I think that there is enough time on a Friday night to hit up both of these spots. I usually like to get to Kitchen Kapers around 11:00 p.m. because I like to be fashionably early and it takes me from 45 minutes to an hour to get settled in. Sharon told me about this non-stick frying pan there, which I got her for our one-year anniversary of dating last year. I probably should have gotten her something more romantic now that I think about it. I don’t really know why, but I’ve bought eight sets of Emeril’s cookware in the last three weeks.
6. Bluemercury
As I said earlier, Bluemercury is really taking the Street by storm. On Friday nights when Kitchen Kapers gets too busy, I often get this feeling of despair and loneliness washing over me. That’s when I know it’s time to head over to Bluemercury. I’ve been buying a lot of moisturizer there lately because I’ve gotten really into “exfoliating” ever since Sharon left me.
7. Palm Place
You never know what you’re going to get when you come to Palm Place. Wednesday night is “Tropical Night,” Thursday is “Caribbean Night,” Friday is “Reggae Night,” and Saturday is “Tropical Night.” Also 2-for-1 Mai Tais on Mondays is one of the highlights of Hulf, or so I’ve been told. I spend every night walking down Hulf visiting the places that Sharon and I used to go. Most of my nights end with me coming here and crying in the corner. Sharon, come back to me baby!
— AKR ’16. Illustrated by AJS ’15.
