- My opponent made an excellent point, which I agree with without reservation.
- Uh, I don’t know, I’ve never really thought about it before.
- I have way too much time to talk, can I have less?
- That’s what she said.
- No one told me there would be questions!
- Shut up, I’m the motherfucking president.
- …And I’m a Mormon.
- Please remember to follow me on Instagram!
- I regret not selecting Ms. Palin as my running mate.
- My fellow Armenians…
- I got Bin Laden. Just sayin’.
- Will the real Slim Shady please stand up?
- Fire! Just kidding. Well now that I’ve deflected that question, let’s talk about my taxes…
- It was hard being an international student at Columbia…
- All right, everybody be cool, this is a robbery!
- Dudes, trust me.
- Jinx!
- That was a very valid point, but I would like to counter with the fact that my opponent is a poo-poo penisface.
- But seriously guys, fuck Canada.
