So I just saw the latest Harry Potter movie, and loved it. But as soon as I left the theater and entered the nearest Wal-Mart to buy myself a Schwinn Meridian Adult Tricycle, what did I spy? A cheap direct movie-to-book knockoff.
Where did this JK Attention Whore get the balls to release a corresponding novel adaptation spoiling the stunning cinematic vision of David Yates’ Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows part 1? As if butchering the story and glossing over the details of the movie weren’t enough, she tacked on half a book’s worth of fan fiction at the end!  If I wanted an alternate ending, I would have waited to pirate buy the DVD.
We all remember the same thing happened a couple years ago when some hack named Tolkien wrote an uncalled-for prequel to the beloved Lord of the Rings trilogy. Really? The Hobbit? Original title, buddy. I know that it’s trendy to sell book versions nowadays of popular movies, but we have to draw the line somewhere.
At least we’ll always have the Twilight movies to cherish.
-ZG ’14
