Chairman’s Letters

Spires and Gargoyles – December 2014

Here at The Princeton Tiger, we typically put together an issue in a single heart-pounding weekend of production marked by the debauched trinity of sex, drugs, and rock ’n’ roll. But come Sunday morning, we awoke…


Spires and Gargoyles — Hogwarts

There is a moment on every campus tour when someone looks up at Holder Tower cutting the sky in two and whispers to their neighbor, “Wow, this place is just like Hogwarts.”

Spires and Gargoyles – Reunions 2014

A message from the chairman: It is 5 am on the Sunday morning after Reunions, you are under a tent at the 5th smoking a Camel, and you have seen some things. You…


Spires and Gargoyles – April 2014

Welcome back from Spring Break! With any luck, you spent your entire break on a remote, tropical island and were not stuck in time, trapped in a ululating hellscape woven between moments, because,…


Spires and Gargoyles – December 2013

Yesterday, I went to the office of President Eisgruber to request he accept my resignation from the position of Chairman of The Princeton Tiger and, consequently, director of covert operations at Princeton University.

Spires & Gargoyles: Chairman’s Letter, November 2009

Congratulations on your fine choice in reading material! Perhaps this is your first Tiger; as firsts go, this ranks among the best. It probably won’t destroy as much property as your first car….

Chairman’s Address – September 2008

I’m probably not the first person to say this, and I probably won’t be the last, and neither am I the most sincere, although I’m assuredly not the least sincere (that honor goes…

Chairman’s Address – November 2007 Issue

Archibald Filmore Goldstein IV ’08, the new food manager at Terrace, was up to no good. A 4.0 GPA molecular bio major, he had rented that old Jim Carrey movie about a lawyer…

Chairman’s Address – September 2007 Issue

Welcome, Freshmen, to Princeton University. You have no doubt heard that once again we are ranked Number One. Yep, we have been pumping iron for 8 straight years, beating back Harvard and Yale….

Chairman’s Address – April 2007 Issue

All this fuss about the eating clubs is getting on my nerves. People are really starting to lose focus. Let’s not miss the Big Picture here, guys: the University exists to support the…

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