Archive for the ‘Chairman's Letters’ Category

Spires & Gargoyles: Chairman’s Letter, November 2009

Congratulations on your fine choice in reading material! Perhaps this is your first Tiger; as firsts go, this ranks among the best. It probably won’t destroy as much property as your first car. First pets pee on the carpet, eat your homework, and die. This inanimate stack of paper won’t cause any...
November 6th, 2009 | Chairman's Letters | Read More

Chairman’s Address – September 2008

I’m probably not the first person to say this, and I probably won’t be the last, and neither am I the most sincere, although I’m assuredly not the least sincere (that honor goes to Shirley T.), but Welcome Class of 20-whatever-it-is-now-I-can’t-remember-the-last-3-years. I’m...
September 14th, 2008 | Chairman's Letters | Read More

Chairman’s Address – November 2007 Issue

Archibald Filmore Goldstein IV ‘08, the new food manager at Terrace, was up to no good. A 4.0 GPA molecular bio major, he had rented that old Jim Carrey movie about a lawyer who is doomed when he finds one morning he can no longer lie. Archibald thought this was hilarious, and whipped up a concoction...
November 25th, 2007 | Chairman's Letters | Read More

Chairman’s Address – September 2007 Issue

Welcome, Freshmen, to Princeton University. You have no doubt heard that once again we are ranked Number One. Yep, we have been pumping iron for 8 straight years, beating back Harvard and Yale. Sure, it’s true that 64 college presidents are protesting the U.S. News and World Report ratings system....
September 25th, 2007 | Chairman's Letters | Read More

Chairman’s Address – April 2007 Issue

All this fuss about the eating clubs is getting on my nerves. People are really starting to lose focus. Let’s not miss the Big Picture here, guys: the University exists to support the eating clubs and not the other way around. Besides, eating clubs are the reason we came to Princeton in the first...
April 15th, 2007 | Chairman's Letters | Read More

Chairman’s Address – February 2007 Issue

All this business about grade deflation begs the real question: when are we going to stop kidding ourselves and accept the fact that Princeton’s all ABOUT competition? It’s high time we stopped complaining, like girlie-men, and got on with it. After all, we competed to get in here, and once...
February 2nd, 2007 | Chairman's Letters | Read More

Editorial – Dec. 19th, 1882

Editor's letter from the first Christmas issue of the Tiger, December 19, 1882 Dec. 19th, 1882. THANKSGIVING has come and gone; it is, was, and ever will be a memorable day to us all– Amen.  Yale’s victory will haunt their classic walks and shades until early in the summer, when it will...
March 10th, 2010 | Chairman's Letters | Read More