Chairman’s Letters
Spires

Spires and Gargoyles: A Message from the Chairman

Welcome back from Spring Break! With any luck, you spent your entire break on a remote, tropical island and were not stuck in time, trapped in a ululating hellscape woven between moments, because,…

Spires

Spires and Gargoyles – Dec. 2013

Yesterday, I went to the office of President Eisgruber to request he accept my resignation from the position of Chairman of The Princeton Tiger and, consequently, director of covert operations at Princeton University.

Spires & Gargoyles: Chairman’s Letter, November 2009

Congratulations on your fine choice in reading material! Perhaps this is your first Tiger; as firsts go, this ranks among the best. It probably won’t destroy as much property as your first car….

Chairman’s Address – September 2008

I’m probably not the first person to say this, and I probably won’t be the last, and neither am I the most sincere, although I’m assuredly not the least sincere (that honor goes…

Chairman’s Address – November 2007 Issue

Archibald Filmore Goldstein IV ’08, the new food manager at Terrace, was up to no good. A 4.0 GPA molecular bio major, he had rented that old Jim Carrey movie about a lawyer…

Chairman’s Address – September 2007 Issue

Welcome, Freshmen, to Princeton University. You have no doubt heard that once again we are ranked Number One. Yep, we have been pumping iron for 8 straight years, beating back Harvard and Yale….

Chairman’s Address – April 2007 Issue

All this fuss about the eating clubs is getting on my nerves. People are really starting to lose focus. Let’s not miss the Big Picture here, guys: the University exists to support the…

Chairman’s Address – February 2007 Issue

All this business about grade deflation begs the real question: when are we going to stop kidding ourselves and accept the fact that Princeton’s all ABOUT competition? It’s high time we stopped complaining,…

Editorial – Dec. 19th, 1882

Thanksgiving has come and gone; it is, was, and ever will be a memorable day to us all– Amen. To the TIGER the day was one of feasting, drinking and stomach-aches.

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