Archive for January, 2010

Designing the New Apple Tablet Computer

CONFIDENTIAL EMAIL EXCHANGE.  DO NOT RELEASE. —————————————————————- From: Jonathan Ives, Chief Designer <ives@apple.com> To: Steve Jobs, CEO <jobs@apple.com> Dear...
January 27th, 2010 | Sci/Tech | Read More

Archeological Dig in Firestone Library Turns up New Human Ancestor

Late last night, archaeologists working overtime in the recently discovered fifth basement of Firestone Library uncovered the preserved remains of several Princeton students who they believe to date back hundreds of years.  Their report, released today, details the specifics of their find. “With this...
January 17th, 2010 | Princeton | Read More

P Diddy to Join Fox News on New “Hannity and Combs”

NEW YORK, NY – Fox News announced this morning that the latest addition to its primetime lineup will include rapper Sean Combs. The rapper and political activist, better known to the public under one of his many aliases, including “Puff Daddy”, “Puffy”, and most recently “P Diddy,”...
January 12th, 2010 | Entertainment | Read More

French Aristocracy Stages Post-emptive Strike on Bourgeoisie

In what international commentators are describing as “petty,” “uncalled-for,” and “I don’t even… come on, man,” a remnant of French nobility staged an attack on what their spokesperson referred to as “the merchant class,” representing the first such act of aggression in over two...
January 7th, 2010 | Politics | Read More

Precocious In Princeton

It’s difficult to maintain high school relationships in college. As a freshman, I’m learning this the hard way. I had a girlfriend of a year at a school in Philadelphia, my hometown. So I suppose you can guess what I’m going to say next. That’s right. My girlfriend was injured in a freak gasoline...
January 4th, 2010 | Princeton | Read More