Tag: MA’19
In Recognition Of Woodrow Wilson’s Complex Legacy, U. Throws Raucous, Twelve-Day Parade In His Honor
In an effort to grapple with Woodrow Wilson’s complicated legacy and controversial presence on campus, the University today…
New Evidence Suggests The Native Americans Had Dibs
WASHINGTON—Leading historians from the Smithsonian Institute revealed Tuesday that new evidence has emerged suggesting that the Native Americans…
Americans Can’t Seem to Agree On Anything Other Than The Clear Superiority Of My Basketball Skills
In This Polarized Political Climate, Americans Can’t Seem to Agree On Anything Other Than The Clear Superiority Of…
A Letter to the Class of 2020
College is an exciting time. For the next four years, you’ll be learning new things, exploring new places,…
All Jokes Aside, I’m Going to Need to See Some I.D. (by Officer Carlson)
Look, I get it. You were out looking for a couple of laughs. Probably expected to have yourself…
Groundbreaking Study of Gravitational Wave Conversation Confirms Einstein’s Prediction that Science is Confusing
Following LIGO’s confirmation of the existence of gravitational waves, a fundamental prediction of Einstein’s Theory of Relativity, scientists…
Prefrosh Saving Self for College Hookup Scene
Zach McCarthy, a recently admitted member of the Class of 2020, revealed his decision Wednesday to abstain from…