Tag: Hogwarts
How to Exaggerate Your Summer (A Primer)
You got a job and networked like you were born for it, but at the end of the…
Stopping by McCosh on a Drunken Evening
Whose coat this is I think I know. He must be back in Terrace, though; He did not…
Student Refers to Dorm Where She Ceaselessly Questions Self-Worth as “Home Away From Home”
Late last night Joanna Mendelson ’17 led her younger brother and sister into the very dorm room where…
Dear Member of the Class of 2018
Dear member of the class of 2018, On behalf of this entire institution, we would like to welcome…
Six Unrealistic Scenarios that End with Me Kissing This Girl in My Hall
1. Conscription for the robot war has begun early. Princeton is torn to shreds.  Dorms are set aflame and…
The Princeton Bucket List
As you sit in the chapel for Opening Exercises, Princeton feels like it will last forever. But time…
A Guide to Princeton Precept Etiquette
As you begin your first semester here at Princeton, you’ll be introduced to a type of class known…
Grade Deflation’s End Leaves Students Looking for New Ways to Rationalize Failures
Princeton students initially greeted the news of a potential end to a decade of grade-deflation policies with celebration,…
The 20 Worst Band Names
I Wish You Could Be More Like Your Brother It Doesn’t Need Stitches Turkmenistan You’re Not Responsible Enough…
Total Loser Calls Home Regularly
After just two weeks of college, sources confirm that total pansy Ryan Colter ’18 has already called his…
A Guide to the Street: Hulfish Street
Hey freshmen! Now that you’re at Princeton, it’s time that you learned the lay of the land. You’re…
