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New Initiative Will Encourage Athletes And Non-Athletes To Interact More During Sports Practices
Citing a perceived divide between the two segments of the student body, President Eisgruber today announced a new initiative to…
Who is Your Hollywood Husband?
Hey girls! Are you SICK and tired of boys at school acting stupid? Does your romantic life stink? It’s time…
I’m Glad that Marvel Is Releasing a New Female Superhero, but I’m Not Sure “Super Wonder Penis Sucking Woman” is the Right Way to Go About It
When I first heard that Marvel was adding a new female role to its male-dominated superhero lineup, I could not…
How to Fix a Bad Dorm
Here is how to turn a bad dorm into a good dorm: Make the Room Come Alive: A dead room…
A Beautiful Mind: A Ted Cruz Story
The year is 1988. A cramped double in 1937 Hall. Half of the room looks like pretty standard college dorm…
Making My Dream Come True: A Letter from the Fan Who Married Harry Styles
Dear fans everywhere, Ever since I first heard His glorious voice and saw his luscious locks, I knew that one day…
9 Tips to Spice Up Your Sex Life
Use flavored condoms: oral sex becomes that much more enjoyable when she’s tasting babaganoush. Be a giving, attentive lover: don’t split…