After Bicker, Dangerous Levels of Smugness Pervade Campus
The Department of Public Safety issued a statement Saturday warning that the campus’ levels of smugness had…
Friend Who Got In Empathizes With Friend Who Was Hosed
Newly-accepted Cannon member Josephine Glendon ’17 decided to be the bigger person Friday, leaving a Cannon event early…
Hosed Bickerees Grateful for Sympathetic Facebook Post
Sophomores who were recently hosed from Tower reported Friday that they were grateful for the show of support…
In Defense of Bicker: People Are Assholes In The Real World, So I Should Be An Asshole To You Here
By Andy Chesterfield '16, member of a Bicker club I’m the first to admit that Bicker isn’t perfect,…
Ivy Bicker Chair Invokes the Ivy Bicker Gods
As Bicker continues, Ivy Bicker Chair Augustus IV gathered members of the Ivy Club Tuesday night to formally…
Club’s Bicker Process Not Like the Other Clubs’ Bicker Processes
Much to the relief of several worried sophomores, Angela Franklin ’15 assured potential bickerees that Cap & Gown’s…
Attractive Fraternity Brother Has “Right Attitude” for Bicker
According to multiple friends, attractive Kappa Alpha member Jeff Clarke ’17 is going to do great in Bicker.…
Nevertheless, Woman to Bicker T.I.
In a move that has stunned observers, local woman Laura Blake ’17 has evidently decided, nevertheless, to…
The Heir of Whitman Returns
Shortly after the most recent case of meningitis was reported on campus, University Spokesperson Martin Mbugua confirmed that…
Woman Can’t
After being confronted with an article from a media aggregator which she saw on the social media page…
Princeton Shoots to #1, Harvard on Rapid Decline
Leading experts in college analysis have determined that Princeton is objectively better than Harvard. According to a committee…
Student Wins Precept
When asked for general thoughts on the book his professor wrote, a student posed a question so intellectual,…
How to Succeed in Precept (Without Really Trying)
Woodrow Wilson’s little-known fifteenth point was “there should be precepts,” and today he is remembered more for his…
PRESS RELEASE: Hardee’s Introduces New Fuckburger
THE SOUTH — In keeping with the Hardee’s tradition of providing all-American, grass-fed meat to all-American, grass-fed men…
Nate Silver Predicts Butler Will Be Swing College In USG Election
Political analyst Nate Silver, known for his highly accurate predictions in the recent presidential election, has weighed in…