Rigo
A Letter to my Roommates
To my roommates, With the end of midterms and my return to campus, I’d like to take this…
I Hereby Resign as a Planeeter
Hi, everyone. Heart here. Lately, I've been doing a lot of thinking and I've realized that my time…
A Short List of Presidential Bros
Brover Cleveland James Monbro Theodore Broosevelt Woodbro Wilson Franklin Deleanor Broosevelt Brahrack Brobama Bill Clinton
A Letter to Julian Assange
Dear Mr. Assange: I'm a 3rd grader from Buffalo, New York and I'm your biggest fan. Your website,…
Snooki: The Reincarnation of Winston Churchill?
These wise, portly little figures have more in common than just a strong resemblance to the Cabbage Patch…
The Life and Times of the Cannon Green Cannon
April 4, 1840- My word, the Princeton boys just buried me in a field behind that old hall…
On Running A Country
There are many campus publications that give suggestions on how America or other countries should be run; they…
The New Yorker’s New Rejection Letter
I was surprised to see that the New Yorker rejected my short story yet again. I thought I…
An Interview with St. Valentine
St. Valentine is completely blind sided in this groundbreaking interview with Tiger Mag.
Quickie News: Campus Feminists’ Participation in “No Shave November” A Success
This past month, campus feminists decided to participate in "No Shave November," with the rousing endorsement of gender…
California Sells Convicts to Japanese Game Show for Extra Cash
California sells contracts of death row convicts to Japanese game shows in order to alleviate state debt.
Kanye West Hired by United Nations as Official Speech Timekeeper
Moon and other UN officials have decided that they would give Kanye West the responsibility of stopping world…