Matthew Solis
Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road?, As Told by Famous Comedians
Jerry Seinfeld What’s the deal with chickens crossing roads? I’ve never seen a chicken cross a road,…
Top Ten Disney Halloween Costumes
10. Slutty Little Mermaid 9. Slutty Mulan 8. Slutty Esmeralda 7. Slutty Snow White 6. Slutty Pocohantas 5.…
XXX Versions of Harry Potter Movies
You-Know-Who's You-Know What Accio Lesbians Bareback Centaurs 6 Practicing Parseltoungue 4 Whorecrux Patrol Debbie Does Slytherin House Elf…
Ten Ways to Get Revenge this Passover
Every year, for a week during the holiday of Passover, we Jews refrain from eating leavened bread in…
The Greatest Movies Never Made
Harry & Kumar Go to White Castle After smoking some gillyweed, Harry Potter and Kumar Patel get the…
10 Jobs Mall Santas Have the Rest of the Year
Wilford Brimley impersonator Contestant on The Biggest Loser Unemployed, along with 9.3% of the rest of the population…
Come to a CULT Meeting
Feeling depressed? Looking for new meaning in life? Easily manipulated? Want to give us all your possessions learn…
Pokémon or Foreign-Language Curse Word? A Quiz
1. Kabuto 2. Kariola 3. Phione 4. Oipho 5. Pedicator 6. Faen 7. Zubat 8. Lainar 9. Marowak…
Meet Your Newest Faculty Member: Professor Darth Vader
The university’s recent announcement of the hiring of Darth Vader to a position in the physics department has…
Thirst for Knowledge, Hunger for BRAAIIINS – My Unlife as a Zombie at College
When the zombie apocalypse began, the first thought that came to my mind was “Ugh… this sucks.” My…
Ralph Nader ‘55 to Run for Freshman Class President
BREAKING NEWS: Perennial candidate Ralph Nader has reportedly just filed paperwork to run for freshman class president. “Normally…