Let’s Get a Meal Some Time
âIâm so glad we did this,â Eleanor said as we left Wilcox. âPeople always say, âLetâs get a…
How to Exaggerate Your Summer (A Primer)
You got a job and networked like you were born for it, but at the end of the…
Stopping by McCosh on a Drunken Evening
Whose coat this is I think I know. He must be back in Terrace, though; He did not…
Student Refers to Dorm Where She Ceaselessly Questions Self-Worth as âHome Away From Homeâ
Late last night Joanna Mendelson â17 led her younger brother and sister into the very dorm room where…
Dear Member of the Class of 2018
Dear member of the class of 2018, On behalf of this entire institution, we would like to welcome…
Six Unrealistic Scenarios that End with Me Kissing This Girl in My Hall
1. Conscription for the robot war has begun early. Princeton is torn to shreds.  Dorms are set aflame and…
The Princeton Bucket List
As you sit in the chapel for Opening Exercises, Princeton feels like it will last forever. But time…
A Guide to Princeton Precept Etiquette
As you begin your first semester here at Princeton, youâll be introduced to a type of class known…
Grade Deflation’s End Leaves Students Looking for New Ways to Rationalize Failures
Princeton students initially greeted the news of a potential end to a decade of grade-deflation policies with celebration,…
The 20 Worst Band Names
I Wish You Could Be More Like Your Brother It Doesnât Need Stitches Turkmenistan Youâre Not Responsible Enough…
Total Loser Calls Home Regularly
After just two weeks of college, sources confirm that total pansy Ryan Colter â18 has already called his…
A Guide to the Street: Hulfish Street
Hey freshmen! Now that youâre at Princeton, itâs time that you learned the lay of the land. Youâre…
Student Hopes Bridge Year Will Turn Him Into Hookup Machine
Arnold Severus, a moneyed and self-assured male student, has made the decision to apply to Princeton Universityâs Bridge…
Roommate Contract (Amended)
Roommate Contract (Additions in Green) Names: Donald Marad, Neil Stewart By signing this roommate contract, we hereby agree to: Sleep by…