Space Dating
Are you single? More importantly, are you desperate? Finally, do you want to cross the border between planets…
A Draft of the Class of 2017 Admissions Letter
Dear Admitted Student, Congratulations! You are coming to Princeton. It has been pre-ordained. Not by the stars (we…
Lesser Known Martial Arts
Sober Master Style: Drunken Master Style’s straight-laced sister school. Mixed Martial Arts and Crafts: The fusion of paper…
Mario Gets Ready for Showtime
World 1-1. Two plumbers stretch in the locker room. Luigi: So. What’s on the agenda this time? Mario:…
Celebrity News Hour
David: I can’t do another episode of this. Alex: Find a way to cheer up, like me! I’ve…
Top Ten Places to Spend Valentine’s Day Alone
The Internet The internet provides of fine array of options for diversion, self-delusion, or old-fashioned wallowing in self-pity.…
The Invention of the Iron Maiden
Duke: This had better be good. I was elbow deep in concubines. Blacksmith: I believe the expression is…
How To Choose Which Child to Sacrifice
Sometimes, life can throw you a curveball. Worse yet, life can throw a bone-crushing 98 mph fastball directly…
Your Own Riot in Eight Easy Steps
Complacency is a disease. It eats away at creativity, ambition, and progress. More importantly, it leads to a…
Rhode Island Votes to Move Off Coast of New York to Alleviate Confusion
Today, in a move that will merely fulfill the expectations of many, the Rhode Island State Senate voted…
Bhutan Acquires Thermonuclear Device; UN Scrambles To Find An Atlas
On Friday, King JigmeKhesarNamgyelWangchuck surprised the UN and the world when he revealed that the Kingdom of Bhutan…
The 14 Best Ways To Die
Dying should be a memorable occasion. Anyone can lie calmly in bed and pass away with “dignity,” but…
Modern Applications of Dueling
Marriage. Voting. Worship. Many pundits praise these institutions as the foundations of our society, the traditional moral pillars…
The Ten Commandments Writer’s Room
Uriel: Hail! Fellow Archangels! Champions of Paradise! Lieutenants of the Lord of creation! Gabriel: Can we drop the…
How to Write a Paper About Nothing
Writing classes tell students a lot of things. A great many of these things are true, if you’re…