PSAFE Suspects Foul Play in Bloomberg Basement Flood

By Gavin Stroud '28

Around 8:00 PM this Monday, February 9th, residents of Bloomberg Hall heard the shrill sound of a fire alarm from the basement. Bloomberg basement, home to many a cappella groups including Shere Khan and the Katzenjammers, as well as campus radio station WPRB, partially flooded due to a burst water pipe. Concurrently, a cappella groups were running spring semester auditions. Infamously intense, sometimes boiling over into impulsive actions. “Students in emotional situations can act in unpredictable, sometimes dangerous ways,” PSAFE said in a public statement, adding that such an actor may have been responsible for the destruction of the pipes. “I know pipes,” said Ian O’Pypes, a local plumber, “and they don’t break that way unless someone’s, well, meddling.” One unconfirmed student tip places loud “angry screaming” and “bashing sounds” in the basement just a few minutes before the alarms went off. Editor’s Note: As a cappella groups Shere Khan, Roaring 20, and Wildcats look to report their most competitive tryout season yet, rumors suggest that many clubs may be considering switching to a selective sign-in process similar to the Quadrangle and Charter eating clubs. In an official email distributed via HoagieMail, Shere Khan’s President, Doreen King, defended this sign-in process, saying “we wouldn’t want to burst anyone’s bubble - or pipes.”