Breaking news: Almost three weeks after Princeton President Shirley Tilghman announced that Montana was the only unrepresented state in the Princeton Class of 2013, a Montanan member of the Class of 2013 spoke out. Wishing to be identified as Hannah Montana, she produced this statement for TigerMag: “It was like so embarrassing not to be recognized. I just wanted to grab the microphone and be like… Shirley, you’re wrong.”
We here at TigerMag are unable to independently confirm whether this Hannah Montana is the actual rock star, or if she is using a pseudonym. Ms. Montana is currently supposed to be on tour in Missouri. We plan to investigate the possible University cover-up and international cloning violations.
No word yet on the whereabouts of one Ms. Miley Cyrus; suspicions hinge on the fact that Cyrus and Montana have never been seen together. When contacted for comment, a source close to Cyrus seemed unconcerned. Her best friend Leslie said, “Oh, she’s just being Miley.”
-SRS ’13
