By popular demand, Princeton has added an entire day to the class of 2026’s freshman orientation on romantic do’s and don’ts at the University. Tips shared with the frosh included the following:
• Don’t date senior men. Think for a second about the type of dude who has been rejected by 3 entire classes before you, and then think about whether that’s how you want to kick off your college experience.
• Long distance is pretty much unfeasible on this campus. It doesn’t matter who they are, Forbes isn’t worth the walk.
• If you’re a sellout, think twice before you date a non-sellout, and vice versa. That difference in values and purchasing power can really put a strain on any relationship.
• If your professor comes on to you, stay away. Best case scenario, you get a New York Times profile out of it, and is he really worth it?
• People with fake majors can actually make it work with people who have actual work to do, hut he careful not to rub it in your partner’s face when you both get the same job at Bain upon graduating.
• Cross-club relationships can be tricky. I’m not saying there’s absolutely nobody out there that’s worth meal-exchanging at Cap, but they better be a keeper. Don’t give up your hard earned Tower food for just anybody.
• Speaking of clubs, make sure your partner isn’t just using you so you’ll speak up for them in bicker. If all your friends don’t want to let them in, maybe they’re onto something.
• Does your partner have a scooter? That could make romantic walks difficult. Try cutting the wires and blaming it on their ex
• Do you and your partner have differing political views on hot button issues, such as abortion? Respectful discourse is the whole point of college, so keep that in mind while they try to convince you that pregnant 10 year olds should he forced to give birth.
• Don’t kick yourself if you don’t find anyone by the end of senior year. Even if you think there’s one that got away, you can always hook up at reunions.
BG ’23
