- Unbepissed – adj. the quality of not having been urinated upon. An absolutely necessary word which serves the purpose of making the distinction between things which have, and have not been urinated upon.
- Contradistinction – n. contrast. Because “in contrast with” is just not good enough for you. Say “in contradistinction to” and you will immediately appear exactly 36.4% more intelligent than you probably already are.
- Natiform – adj. a highly academic and scientific adjective used to describe objects resembling buttocks. A well-used medical term which ought not to be used in any way, shape, or form for insults.
- Neologist – n. one who creates new words. At times, I suppose I can be something of a quasi-neologist, to make up a word for it. (See what I did there?)
- Nudiusterian – adj. “Of or relating to the day before yesterday.” Yes. There is a word for it. Use it. Commonly mistaken for the name of a nudist cult.
- Sansculottic – adj. Insufficiently attired. Derived from name of the French lower class that lacked knee-breeches (culottes), the evident necessity of which drove them to incite the bloodbath known as the French Revolution. Suggested usage: “While I was in France during the war, I used to ask the natives girls to get sansculottic with me. Worked every time.”
- Elumbated – adj. According to the Oxford English Dictionary, this word refers to the quality of having been “weakened in the loins.” In order to avoid ever finding ones’ self in this miserable state, it is recommended that you gird the aforementioned loins. Usage: “We took my cat to be elumbated today. I bet he wishes he was still a stray…”
- Acerebral – adj. The quality of lacking a cerebrum. The intellectual, verbally superior way of calling someone an idiot. Only the acerebral will doubt the accuracy of the words defined by the author of this brilliant column.
TZ Horton ’15 is a lucripetous, quomodocuniquizing slubberdegullion.