U2’s Exotic New Album Totally Uninspired by Indian Music

U2 released their new album “Save the World” today to iTunes and record stores across the world. BBC music gave the album 5 out of 5 stars, claiming “From the very first track, one can really detect the subtle lack of any sort of multicultural presence in the music.” They added, “It’s really impressive how U2 pulled it off, especially after how the band just took that trip to India to reinvent themselves. Most bands would crumble under the pressure and throw a sitar or something on the record, but not U2. ”

Pitchfork gave the record a 9.3 out of 10, raving, “U2’s particular brand of post-punk alternative rock has become beyond derivative over the past decade. However, we couldn’t help but give Bono and the gang high marks for trying such a fresh new sound on ‘Save the World’. Listening to the album and all of its non-Indian subthemes and messages was like being musically startled awake. The experience can be described best as like having a bucket of cold water poured over your head, only the water is from any river but the Ganges.”

At a release party in Dublin, lead singer Bono offered remarks: “All of us in the band are really excited about playing these songs live. We’re feeling rejuvenated after our trip to India and ready to go on the road with this new material that has absolutely no resemblance to any sort of Indian music. In fact, this has been so fun; we’re planning on making a trip to Africa at the end of the tour to re-reinvent ourselves!” Guitarist The Edge quickly grabbed the microphone and reassured, “But there won’t be any African stuff on the next record. Don’t worry.” The crowd breathed a sigh of relief and started picking up the money falling out of Bono’s pockets.

-ZG ’14