Posts Tagged ‘beard’

Ways My Beard Makes Me Seem Thoughtful and Worldly

Sometimes I’ll soak my mustache in scotch before going out to a social event. Then, during conversation, I’ll suck on it and then make some pronouncement like, “This ten-year single-malt has an excellent bouquet.” Since nobody else wants to suck on my mustache, nobody can tell me that...

September 15th, 2010 | Opinion | Read More

Statistics You Didn’t Want To Know About This Year’s Senior Thesis Season

It’s that time of year again, folks, when our greasy, crusty, God-forsaken friends of yesteryear finally resurface from the library and breathe air that’s not carbon monoxide exhaled from 300 year old decaying books. Yes, that’s right, Seniors, you are done with your theses. So in honor...