5 Tips On Selling Princeton to Admitted Students
There are only a few days left until the pre-frosh are required to commit to one school or another. Here’s how to make sure that school is Princeton: DO NOT ask your pre-frosh…
Old Man Lurer Had Audacity to be Old, Unattractive
It has been two weeks since Tony Kadyhrob was spotted in the Borough of Princeton, but the aftereffects linger. Kadyhrob, 68, a noted lurer, had been luring his way up and down Western…
Princeton University Reverses Controversial Policy
After several years of experimentation, Princeton University announced a plan to remove a generally-disliked policy and revert to the original system. As President Shirley Tilghman explains in an article on Princeton’s website, in…
Administration Unveils New Grade Deflation Strategies
In an attempt to break the 35% barrier, the Princeton administration unveiled an audacious new plan to decrease the number of As given. Libraries to close at 3 pm. Finals to be held…
“Tiger Mother” Confirms: Raise Your Kids to Attend Princeton
The media has been abuzz in recent weeks about Yale Professor of Law Amy Chua’s new book, Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother. The book makes several claims that the world has received…
Twas the Night Before Dean’s Date
Faithful readers of the Prince (Really? … Who are you?) will remember an oft-printed column that, well, is getting a little old. We decided it was time for a new version. (Update 4:45…
A Petrarchan Sonnet for Dean’s Date
How soon, so soon! our finals week arrives! It drives the best of us up to the brink And the rest of all of us to heavy drink. But we are Princeton so…
Forbes College: Why Is It Really So Far Away?
Throughout the years there have been only been a handful of questions, such as “When are the Asian tourists finally planning on staging the coup?” “Where do they keep the safe that holds…
Princeton Looks into More Efficient Heating Solution than Elves with Hammers
In response to accusations of wasteful energy use in regard to its dormitory heating systems, administrators at Princeton have begun exploring alternatives to the current system of elves striking the inner walls of the radiators with hammers.
