Princeton
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How to Succeed in Precept (Without Really Trying)

Woodrow Wilson’s little-known fifteenth point was “there should be precepts,” and today he is remembered more for his dedication to the idea of student discussions than for his fervent anti-Semitism. Some find precepts a great forum for exchanging ideas, others find them an efficient means of identifying the biggest tools on campus, but whatever your opinion, you’re going to have to go to precept. Sometimes.

Dorm Party Do’s and Don’ts

School’s back in session. Time to wipe off that intern-sweat and shiv your boredom with the cool dagger of excessive drinking.

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A Message from Princeton Student Agencies

PRINCETON STUDENT AGENCIES – PRINCETON’S OFFICIALLY LICENSED PREDATORY PRIVILEGED MONOPOLY FOR OVER 130 YEARS

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Hookup Horticulture

You’ve heard a lot of exciting stuff about the Hookup Culture here in the realm of tertiary education. You’re trying to get in on that, but how? You know you have to find…

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If Other Authors Had Been Disillusioned by Princeton

It’s well known that F. Scott Fitzgerald was disillusioned by what he saw as the decadence of Princeton life, but he sells the University short. That’s not to say he was wrong—how many towns in America can say a major event is the Banana Republic being replaced by a Brooks Brothers?—but there are so many other reasons to be disillusioned by Princeton that Ol’ Fitzy never even touched on.

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Reasons You Chose Princeton

You thought it might help your chances of getting into Cottage. You didn’t know Princeton was in New Jersey. For the chance to scream “More like ASSau Hall!” when you get your first,…

A Letter to Eisgruber: Eisgruber’s Response

Yesterday, our Chairman sent this e-mail to President Eisgruber.  Much to our surprise, he soon replied. ——————————————– Dear Timothy, Thank you for these extremely delinquent congratulations.  As you might imagine, Tiger Magazine’s felicitations…

A Letter to Eisgruber

On Monday, July 1st, 2013, Christopher L. Eisgruber became the 20th President of Princeton University. The following is a real e-mail sent by our Chairman to the incoming president on this momentous occasion.

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Furious Tilghman Unleashes Full Brunt of Weather Machine

Princeton University President Shirley Tilghman, angered for unexplained reasons, has been using her personal weather machine to wreak havoc on the University campus.

Rules of Writing in a Creative Fiction Class

New South stands for tangible possibility, a concrete beacon of unkempt potential standing amidst the collegiate gothic plain of suburban New Jersey.

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