Archive for the ‘Princeton’ Category

Dear Roommate from Freshman Year,

Greetings! How was your summer? I had a wonderful time at home with my family and friends thousands and thousands of miles away from you. Tragically, summer comes to an end as we prepare to return to campus. I am very excited to go back to Princeton and hang out with my friends from last year. I expect...
September 25th, 2007 | Princeton | Read More

Princetonian Summer Experiences

We at Tiger need hardly point out the value of being a Princeton student. As America’s future political leaders, captains of industry, and superpimps, we are expected to use our valuable summer vacations “in the nation’s service.” Tiger decided to ask a few students how they decided...
September 25th, 2007 | Princeton | Read More

DEATHMATCH — WWS v. COM

Everyone has at least one precept with one person who has totally wasted his/her education here at Princeton. That person speaks all the time in class yet has nothing to say. That person’s comments are off topic, and his/her papers are the academic equivalent of vaporware. Every time s/he chips...
September 25th, 2007 | Princeton | Read More

Things We Never Learned Freshman Week But We Wish We Had

Tiger Magazine likes to look out for all of the incoming Freshmen from year to year. We provide a service similar to that you get first from the “Prince” in that God-awful packet that hocks everything from water (a rip-off) to UStore memberships (premium, #1, super-good, buy!). It’s...
September 25th, 2007 | Princeton | Read More

Class of 2011: Shirley Tilghman Welcome Letter

For our freshman issue, Tiger Magazine is proud to present a letter written by President Shirley Tilghman addressing all the new freshmen! Unfortunately, she sent us her rough copy with the original edits, so please bear with us and simply skip over the crossed-out words: Dear saps fools future donors...
September 25th, 2007 | Princeton | Read More

Butt Demolished, Princeton Reunited

PRINCETON, NJ — Due to the recent demolition of its Quad, members of Butler College are officially prohibited from complaining about their dorms for the 07-08 academic year. “If Princeton is the place for archways and ivy,” freshmen used to whine, “why would the university put us...
September 25th, 2007 | Princeton | Read More

A Zagat Survey of Prospect Street, Princeton University

Most visitors to the Princeton University campus wonder about “all this eating club business.” You may have even once found yourself asking, what precisely is an eating club? What a silly question! An eating club is an association of students given to sharing meals together. That is it and...
September 25th, 2007 | Princeton | Read More

Rupert Murdoch Mistakenly Buys Whitman College on Ebay

PRINCETON, NJ — Whitman College was recently listed for sale on Ebay, where Amero-Australinian tycoon Rupert Murdoch snatched it up using the ‘Buy It Now’ option. Murdoch allegedly gained control of the college after high-level negotiations between his wife and the Whitman family, who...
September 25th, 2007 | Princeton | Read More

Snapshots of Princeton – April 2007

“Here, sweetie… your breakfast, just like you normally get it.” There’s a Visine for that! “Hi honey… um, April Fools’?”
April 15th, 2007 | Snapshots | Read More

At Princeton, A Bitter Tradition of Exclusion

By JANE KARR Mandy Hamilton sits listlessly, gazing out of her window as the cold late winter sun descends. Friends and neighbors fondly recall a girl who volunteered at soup kitchens and danced happily in meadows. She loved ponies, the color blue, smaller ponies, and laughing at Scientology. This was...
April 15th, 2007 | Princeton | Read More