Ohio State Tattoo-Gate Violators Sentenced to Death

Columbus, OH — The five Ohio State players caught trading their own personal possessions for tattoos have been sentenced to the death penalty. The affected players include 2010 leading rusher Dan Herron, number…

U2’s Exotic New Album Totally Uninspired by Indian Music

U2 released their new album “Save the World” today to iTunes and record stores across the world. BBC music gave the album 5 out of 5 stars, claiming “From the very first track,…

XXX Versions of Harry Potter Movies

You-Know-Who’s You-Know What Accio Lesbians Bareback Centaurs 6 Practicing Parseltoungue 4 Whorecrux Patrol Debbie Does Slytherin House Elf House Orgy 3 Snape’s Dungeon Hufflepuff Sluts 2 Albus Dumbledore Presents: The Elder Wand Quidditch…

Mario Gets Ready for Showtime

World 1-1. Two plumbers stretch in the locker room. Luigi: So. What’s on the agenda this time? Mario: You know what it is. It’s the same thing it always is. L: The dragon…

Breaking News – TigerMag Uncovers Network Of Presidential Blogs

With well-known celebrities, politicians, and activists utilizing social media to communicate with their fans and supporters, it was only a matter of time before University officials similarly adopted such measures.  As TigerMag’s newly-formed…

Rebecca Black Releases First Movement of Epic, 7-Part “The Days” Suite

The three Bs of the Western musical canon- Bach, Beethoven, and Bieber- have been joined by a fourth: Rebecca Black.

Dogg Barks up March Madness

Snoop Dogg March Madness NCAA hoes

Real Headline Or Onion Headline? A Quiz

1. “Former President of MADD Arrested On DUI Charge” 2. “Is That A Chainsaw In Your Pants, Or Are You Just Happy…?” 3. “Man Who Temporarily Disables Facebook Account Deems Self ‘Off The…

Celebrity News Hour

David: I can’t do another episode of this. Alex: Find a way to cheer up, like me! I’ve got a bottle full of Xanax waiting for me at home. David: I’ve got a…

Björk Discovers Words

REYKJAVIK – Grammy-nominated singer-songwriter Björk, whose sound has been described as “unique,” “sound,” and “like the frightened cries of a partially sedated, dying penguin,” today discovered words while working in her private studio….

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