Sunday, October 6
9:00 PM Uh-oh… Looks like I’ve put off my philosophy paper until the last minute! It’s on Kant… as in I KANT deal with this right now! So I’m gonna live blog my FIRST EVER ALL-NIGHTER for you guys, my faithful followers. LOL! #pumped #wishmeluck
9:02 PM (feeling excited) Heading to the U-Store to stock up on instant coffee and energy drinks. Try and stop me now, MOM!
9:08 PM Back from the store! OMFG they have like everything… picked up some coffee that, get this, COMES IN A CAN, and got a case of Monster, and Red Bull, and this stuff a large street entrepreneur sold me out back :D
9:10 PM The salesman looked like my Uncle Jack, except he wasn’t in prison (ha ha) I’m not sure what this stuff was exactly. it looks like Parmesan cheese but it feels kind of crunchy. The guy said he was a businessman and it was a study aid or something so it’s probs totes chill ;p
9:15 PM Cracking open my first energy drink! To all y’all haters out there who thought I couldn’t do it, here I am! #startedfromthebottom
9:16 PM I just finished it and I don’t feel different, guess I’ll have another one ;)
9:18 PM Still not noticing anything… how long is this stuff supposed to take? Making instant coffee now #notevenbuzzed
9:40 PM I feel… alive. More alive than I’ve ever felt in my life. All of my particles feel like they’re moving really fast kind of like atoms when it’s really hot and I really feel invincible like I could do anything
9:45 PM like this essay is already practically done and like why do we even write essays right
9:46 PM hahahaha omg right write right write I kill me… wait no I think I’m actually dying someone call an ambulance
11:36 PM Killer headache… I think I got a sudden rush of blood or something D:
11:37 PM Oh my god I was unconscious for 2 hours and I still haven’t started my paper oh god, oh god no it’s supposed to be 15 pages please help me
12:22 AM I have been working for one hour but I just checked my word count and I realized I have not finished writing my name yet #screwed
1:03 AM I am mortal. I am fallible. I am going to fail.
1:15 AM The energy is gone. I tasted perfection in that cocktail of pure vitality and saw the Heavens open up to embrace me, but I flew too close to the sun and was burned, and now I have fallen from grace. #weaksauce
1:22 AM I am putting the study parmesan granted to me by my salesman/savior in my mouth with the desire to be even 1/10th as close to God as Monster brought me.
5:30 PM Jesus, what time is it?
5:30 PM I’m covered in some sort of liquid … where am I?
5:31 PM Everything feels wrong. I’m in so much pain and I just want to go home. I think I’m lying on cement, in a really dank, sticky puddle. It’s hard to see, it all looks so dark
5:37 PM I smell like garlic and sour cream and my leg is twisted at a 90 degree angle and my hands are covered in something but I cannot tell what it is
5:38 PM It is blood. I do not know whose.
6:01 PM NO NO NO SWEET JESUS NO WHAT HAVE I DONE PLEASE HAVE MERCY ON ME
7:23 PM Okay, okay, Kant, Groundwork of the Metaphysics of Morals … all right, okay, one must act only according to that maxim whereby you can, at the same time, will that it should become a universal law. #imperative
7:28 PM If I willed my actions to become universal laws, I think — Oh lord I do not even want to imagine
7:29 PM Due to a recent change in circumstances I will be leaving the country as soon as possible. Thank you to all my followers to your love and support. I am so, so sorry. #remorse #Icantgoback
7:45 PM This will be my final blog post. If I could leave you all with a piece of advice, it would be to stay in school and wear a condom. Any allegations you may see on the news are hearsay and cannot be proven in a court of law. #INNOCENTUNTILPROVENGUILTY
Friday, November 15
4:30 PM paper back b+ lol #latedays
– MWG ’16. Illustrated by CSO ’15.