CollegeBoard Reveals New Line-up SATs Aimed at Younger Audience

CollegeBoard President Gaston Caperton announced last Sunday on the company’s official website a new slew of preparatory tests for the SAT that begin in fall 2012.

The new Preliminary SATs shall be called PnSATs, where CollegeBoard defines PnSAT to be used to prepare students for Pn-1SAT and so on. Following the success of the PSAT, Caperton believes that the company’s new standardized testing shall herald a new era in American education.

In 2010, 161,139 students around the world took the SAT, which many American universities require. To prepare the students better with one of the most important tests in their lives, CollegeBoard introduced the successful PSAT. Now, CollegeBoard believes the time has come to go beyond.

With PSAT mainly having a high school sophomore and junior audience, P2SAT and P11SAT aim to target high school freshmen and kindergarteners respectively. In the website’s FAQ section, the company explains that the P15SAT shall, for the time being, be the most preparatory SAT of all, until scientists discover technology for sending paper into the womb.

ACT Inc, CollegeBoards main rival, has announced via Twitter that it has something “totally rad to reveal next month” in response to CollegeBoard’s PnSATs. An insider leak to Tiger Magazine and a variety of other media sources suggests that ACT has been expanding in the other direction, by instead targeting adults.

Apparently, “FACTs” or “Further ACTs”, shall launch next year with ACT II and ACT III that target Mormon bachelors between 21 and 29 and single moms with twins over 30 respectively.

Whether FACTs can provide a challenge to PnSATS remains to be seen. Common sense dictates that adults have more cash than elementary school kids. However, Investment firm Wedbush Securities analyst Jared Zaleski believes that PnSATS and FACTs are targeting different audiences and each can flourish on its own, since “they have no other real competitors in their respective fields.”

While the PnSATs will not launch until next year, CollegeBoard has already released some sample problems for students to prepare. Tiger Magazine has provided some questions available for viewers, with answers marked in bold.

P5SAT for Grade 6 students – Philosophy

Why are you taking this test?

A)   Mommy said so

B)    Daddy said so

C)    There’s nothing better to do

D)   To prepare for P5SAT

E)    Donate money to the hardworking CEO’s bank account

 

P8SAT for Grade 3 students – Mathematics

George has 5 apples. Johnny the thief steals 2 apples. George now has 3 apples. How do you think Johnny made George feel?

A)   Good

B)    Bad

C)    Who the fudge actually steals apples these days?

D)   Hey, 5 minus 2 is 4!

E)    All of the above

 

P11SAT for kindergarteners – English

Fill in the blank – When I got home, I caught my _____ making a sandwich in the kitchen

A)   Mom

B)    Dad

C)    Milkman

D)   Dad’s secretary

E)    Creepy neighbour that always offers me candy in the mornings

-YC ’15

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