Adam and Eve to be Awarded Honorary Degrees

The Trustee Committee on Honorary Degrees has recently announced that it intends to honor this remarkable pair in what one spokesman described as “long overdue recognition.” The degrees, which are normally given out as part of commencement ceremonies, will instead be a part of the upcoming Alumni Day celebrations on February 24th, because “well, that’s sooner, you see.” When Tiger inquired of the committee’s spokesman what connection Adam & Eve had to Princeton University, he cited their impressive number of relatives among the graduate and undergraduate populations; “without their hard work, Princeton might be uninhabited!”

The couple will be receiving their degree from the Ecology and Evolutionary Biology department, in thanks for the tremendous contributions they have made to the field. The degree will be controversially co-sponsored by the Near Eastern Studies, Religion, and Judaic Studies departments.

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